Five ways to annoy wheelchair users

This is from my own personal experience – and they’re in no particular order.

1. If the person is in one of these awful chairs with small wheels (like those you get at Edinburgh Airport) which require someone to push them and which disables them from being able to propel themselves, then park them facing a blank wall. This is a really great way to annoy the person in the wheelchair.

(It might be nicer to be parked facing outward so there’s at least something to look at.)

2. When in a supermarket, never look below your own eye level. This ensures that you can barge into anyone who is not at the same height as you are.

(This is not such a worry for wheelchair users if they have nice bits of heavy metal on the chair – such as on the foot rests, which with any luck will hurt the shins of the person who has just barged into you because they didn’t notice you.)

3. Never talk directly to the person in the wheelchair. If you want to be ignorant and annoying, then mutter above their heads to their companion or carer. This ensures that the person in the wheelchair is left clueless about what is being discussed and what has been decided about their needs or preferences.

(“Does he take sugar?” springs to mind.)

4. Never ask the person in the wheelchair where they want to go or if they have anything specific in mind, such as using the toilet or looking in a bookshop. Instead, treat them like a piece of meat which has to be delivered from A to B.

(The person in the wheelchair can retaliate, after being parked at point B, by announcing loudly that they need to use the loo. This requires the meat delivery boy to push you a large part of the way back to where you wanted to go in the first place if only he’d asked.)

5. Always assume that the person in the wheelchair is incapable of any intelligent thought process. If you’re not treating them as a piece of meat to deliver from A to B, just assume that they’re some kind of brainless creature.

(I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to explain to some “special assistance” idiot that my leg doesn’t work but my brain still does.)

C’mon, folks, you must have your own experiences to add to this. Please join in by commenting below!